Once upon a time there was an undecided girl, whose dreams weren't exactly clear enough for her to see what she really wanted to do right now, and in the near and far future.
So one day, she realizes that what she's doing at the moment, is not really what brings her happiness. Nor it will bring it in the future...
She knows...
So she decides to do something about it. And makes a decision: She has to make an arrangement in her life about this. And she does.
She goes straight to her parents. And tells them what she thinks...
Her parents don't agree with her new decision. And it's not that they don't support her. They just think that what she's doing at the moment, is what's best for her, now, and in the future.
She cries. Goes crazy. Goes mad.
But they talk about it.
And then she thinks that, if she really wants to get something, she must work hard.
So she tries again. And this time, different people tell her that her dream must wait one more year.
She calls her mom, desperate for help.
Her mom reaches out for her husband. And the girl's dad gets to where her daughter is, as fast as he can. He won't leave her there...alone...crying. He loves her.
They run into each other. And her dad solves everything.
"My dad is a hero" She thinks.
But her heart...her heart is dying. It's sad. Crying.
She gets home, and she sits in the living room with her parents. All of a sudden she starts crying, because lately, she cries in front of people, she doesn't care anymore.
Her parents tell her there is no need to cry. "Everything's ok" They say.
She goes " No! it's not ok! I'm letting you down. I always do".
"You do not let us down! We're proud of you!" They answer.
Then she says "No...I always let myself down...how can i not let YOU down?"
They talk.
About love. And support. Mom and Dad tell their daughter there is nothing more important for them than her, and that they're very proud of her, no matter what decisions she takes.
They hug. And kiss. Her dad goes to work, and the girl ends up telling her mom about her love life.
Yes. That was me this week.
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Hoy en la ma�ana llegu� como uan hora mas temprano de mi clase, que comenzaba a las 11. Y compr� un bionico en Proulex, me fu� un rato al sal�n, platiqu� con el macizo, y me dieron ganas de estar sola.
Entonces agarr� mi mochila, y camin�, a ver a donde se me ocurr�a ir. Y termin� en el �tico.
Estuve ah� un buen rato, sentada en la azotea. Escuchando musica, y escribiendo...
Divagando......
Lleg� otra chava y platicamos poquito. Despu�s me retire a mi clase. Me gust�.
Me he juntado m�s con Chava en los �ltimos d�as, y me he sentido bien con �l. Por que �l es tan serio como yo. Y los momentos de silencio son divertidos.
No conoc�a a nadie a quien no le molestara quedarse en silencio en ratos. Me siento c�moda.
Despu�s de la clase, Chava acompa�� a su novia al tren, y regres�, y �l, Sergio y yo nos sentamos en el jard�n a platicar de todo y nada...
Coment� que disfruto estar sola de vez en cuando, que soy solitaria. Sergio me pregunt� que si esa era mi personalidad. Y me naci� contestar que s�. Tal vez lo sea.
Estuvimos ah� todo el rato. Hasta que dieron las 4 y necesitaban ir a hacer del 1, despu�s de una cahuama cada uno, y yo me adelant� al sal�n. Me alcanzaron, platicamos m�s, y se fueron.
Me empez� a doler mucho la cabeza, tal vez por que no hab�a comido, as� que tuve que salirme de la clase, no pod�a poner atenci�n. Y mi mam� me iba a recoger hasta las 6:30 para llevarme al japon�s X_x Me tuve que sentar por ah� a leer, hasta que dieron las 6:30.
Veo pasar a tanta gente todos los d�as por los pasillos. Gente cuyas caras ya identifico. Y estoy segura de que ellos identifican la m�a. Y tal vez no nos dirijamos la palabra jam�s. Pero hemos dirijido miradas.
Muchas veces �stas lo dicen todo. Sin necesidad de un "Hola".
Creo que mi mirada dice "Soy mejor que t�, al�jate" Por que todos mis amigos me han dicho que antes de que nos hablaramos, pensaban que yo era "bien sangrona" por que se me ve la cara "Seeeria Seria!". Tal vez por eso casi nadie se me arrima. Tal vez por eso no tengo novio.
Pero por mi mente jam�s pasa un "Soy mejor que t�, al�jate" Al contrario. Me gusta que me saluden. Con gusto les regreso un "Hola, bien y tu?" No soy mejor que nadie. En absoluto. Ni de broma lo pienso. Pero a m� ning�n desconocido o mas o menos conocido me saluda, ya sea por esto, o por que les da pena.
��Que, muerdo o qu�?! T_T
Pero bueno. Estar en la escuela me gusta mucho. Me gusta platicar con mis amigos. Me gustan algunas clases. Y me gusta sentarme por ah�, o por all�, leer, divagar (en el �tico xD) ver pasar a la gente e imaginarme sus vidad.
Qu� se yo.
10:51 p.m. - 2004-10-22
Recent entries:
Ese wajiro hasta que se cumple - March 11, 2005
Una credencial de vuelta - March 02, 2005
Y...��Qui�n es "migo"?! - February 28, 2005
El pasado sonriente. - 2005-02-28
La Musa del Todo - 2005-02-21
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